All I Need to Know About Marriage, I Learned by Watching Others

Ok, so this is out of the ordinary in that it does not have a Christian song title, nor will it be my typical blog. I was thinking today about relationships, marriage specifically. I was thinking about how Turkey Bill was reminding me Sunday about how he used to grab Aunt Esther's hand and bring her to his lap and she would just sit there. It was something that I witnessed many times over my life before Aunt Esther's death three years ago. We would all sit in the kitchen--Aunt Esther's domain since she was always trying to feed everybody--and Turkey Bill would be sitting there, drinking his coffee and talking to us. Aunt Esther would walk by and, seemingly without thought, he'd reach out and grab her hand, and pull her to his lap, and there they'd sit, just happy to be with each other. It was one of the things that made me decide I wanted a marriage like theirs. Turkey Bill and Aunt Esther were devoted to each other in ways that is a rare treat to witness. They were truly best friends. I decided as a young child that (a) Turkey Bill would adopt me (since they never had children), I'd have two daddys, and I would be his daughter, (b) I wanted my one-day husband and I to share a love like theirs. I wanted my husband to be my best friend. I wanted to be as openly affectionate as Turkey Bill and Aunt Esther were. So I started thinking of all the marriages I witnessed growing up, and how each one of them has taught me something, because the truth is, whether we realize it or not, we learn from watching our elders in everything, even marriage. Turkey Bill and Aunt Esther taught me what I wanted my marriage to be like: best friends who show their love and affection every time they come near each other. My parents, who by accident of living with me, taught me the ups and downs of marriage, and how, no matter what, you don't just give up on each other for stupid (and sometimes not-so-stupid) stuff. Even though they themselves were children of divorced parents, they managed to stick with each other through thick and thin. Since I saw their personal roller coaster, I admire them all the more for it. Pap-Pap and Grandma were only married a few years (less than five, actually), when Grandma had a stroke. Pap-Pap then spent the next 20+ years taking care of his bride, who no longer had use of her left arm at all and could barely walk. Even though life had given them lemons, they stuck with it. Nana and Wint showed me that love and marriage can even happen late in life (my cousin and I were flower girls in their wedding). Grandma Miller and Grandpa Dave showed me how even totally opposite people can manage to make a life together. There are so many other couples I could name that played a positive role in my definition of marriage, that I couldn't possibly name them all and what they showed me, but you get the gist. All the while, I'm sure that none of these people realized that simply by living life, they were setting a life-long example of a small impressionable child nearby. I did marry my best friend, and we are openly affectionate, and we will stick together through thick and thin and love each other even when we're old enough to have 8 year-old granddaughters. Thank you, Turkey Bill, Aunt Esther, Mama, Daddy, Pap-Pap, Grandma, Nana, Wint, Grandma, and Grandpa. The moral of this story is, that we must now set the example for the small, impressionable children near us. They may very well set their own lives based on what they see.